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Funny Voicemails

Are you looking for something to stir things up a bit? Here are some funny voice mail messages you can use to get a few laughs. Don't forget to post your ideas at the bottom.

Funny voice mail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you're having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voice mail messages below.

The Latest Funny Voicemail Greetings:


Hello? ... Yea ... Uh huh ... Yea ... No, you stop yelling at me ... Oh, you're yelling alright ... you know what, I'm hanging up ... yes, I am ... (Beep)


(sing to call me maybe)
Hey i missed your call
i hope you arent crazy
but leave your name
i will call you maybe


these are awsome

Ben Dover

Hello, if you're hearing this, that means I'm probably trying to avoid you, so don't leave a message, 'cause nobody likes you.

Right Behind You @_____/@

Hi! It's [Your Name Here]! Let's Meet Up! I'm Close!!!(make running sounds then cut off).

Ann T in SC

My nephew's landlord must have heard every excuse possible for late rent. Her message says
"Whatever unfortunate chain of events has led you to call my number this time! Leave your story here and I'll call when I can."


Who is this?! How did you get this number?!


I'm glad ya called, but I'm not home, but I'll be back before too long. You gotta wait for the beep, you gotta leave your name, you gotta leave your number, wait for the beep! *BEEP*


No one answers phone calls anymore, send me a text.


(To the tune of live while we're young)
Hey it's crazy crazy crazy that I've missed your call
Don't know why I bother with this phone at all
Just leave your name and number and a reason too
And I'll try my best... To get back to you...


You have reached the number you most recently dialed.


Okay this is awesome for people with friends who don't know about HumorHotlines, or RejectionHotline. First things first: tell your friends you changed your number. Second: go to and... its pretty much self explanitory...

Okay if this is any of my weirdo friends, then I am sorry I did not give you my new number. So here it is: (say your number) and again that number is (say your number). So call me.


Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don't want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number.


You have reached this mailbox by mistake. Check the Number and call back!


hey, hello and how do you do?
leave a short message, and I will get back to you.

Reilly McKinnon

Hey(small silence) what's up(small silence) sorry I can't get to the phone right now butt leave a message and ill get back to u in like a year bi


Hi, you┴ш╙ve reached ???. In case we haven┴ш╙t spoken in a while, let me catch you up. I┴ш╙m currently more than 8 months pregnant and my husband and I have yet to fully move into the house we bought in May. Given the circumstances and for my general health and sanity, I┴ш╙ve installed a new app that screens messages, deleting any that might cause additional stress at this critical time. Unless you are a close family member with important news, a dear friend who knows what┴ш╙s up, or a good Samaritan who wishes to babysit for free, provide free manual labor, or make a donation to our ever-growing ┴шоthat needs to be fixed too┴ш² fund, your message will most likely be deleted before it reaches me. If I don┴ш╙t return your call, you can assume that your message was determined to cause undue stress. Please take comfort in the fact that my health and sanity are being effectively preserved. At my doctor┴ш╙s recommendation, messages will likely be screened until December.


This is (your name)'s voicemail, I'm kinda like disneyworld, its good and exciting the first time you come, but after the 2nd or 3rd time its annoying and repetitive, so love it while it lasts, and leave a message...

James Ciccone

Hello this is Waldo. Wait I wasn't supposed to give u my location. Wait I'm not Waldo I'm (your name) yeah that's who I am please leave me a number and don't track me or call me


You have reached the voice mail box of (your name). If your a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)'s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If your not hot and not one of (your name)'s friends, call back when you are