Hi, you've reach little old humble me! I don't think I'll be calling you back anytime soon, because to be frank with you, I carry my phone with me EVERYWHERE and probably looked at it the second it rang and got all flustered when I realized it was YOU calling and not (insert name of bf/gf/crush) (then u sigh) .... Well anyway don't expect a call from me anytime in the near future, but do feel free to leave a message!

Here is an idea:

OMG!!! I have been wanting to talk to you for so long..... why haven't you called?!?!?!? Well you're capable of knowing that this is a voicemail machine. I'm so sorry I cannot reach the phone right now, so if you could just call later and/or leave a message. I might not call back because I'm either too busy, annoyed by you, or just not in the mood to talk, so bye!!

Road kill Cafe you kill em we grill em leave your order after the beep.

You know what i hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. i mean all they need to leave is "we aren't in, leave a message" Tha's why i've decided to keep mine short and simple. i pledge to you my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me! *BEEP*

Hello!! If It's You, I'm Not Available, If It's NOT You, Leave A Message!

Hello? Hello? Sorry I cant hear hear you, can you speak a little bit louder? Hello!!!!!! I'm just kidding I'm not here right now but leave me a message and I might get back to you if I'm not too lazy.

Hello- I can't come to the phone because today is my day off and I'm fishing. So I'll call you back when I catch the big one!

We are presently screening our calls. If you're calling to see if anyone is home so you can rob us while we are away? Please let me introduce you to my friends Smith&Wesson and our our lovely pit bull Killer. Everyone else, please leave your message at the beep and we will touch base soon. Semper Fi.

feel free to leave a message but heres just a warning there is a 100% chance I wont get back to you

Hey you've reached K. Q. W. C. rock talk radio where the rock dont stop, ur on the air.

Hi,this is Brad and I have no idea where I am right now,so,if you are out and about and see me,please rush home and call me again and let me know where I am and once I know,I will call you asap! Thanks!

Hi, you've reached the (blank) residence and we want to feel good so if you're call is meant for any other reason than that then you've reached the wrong number please hang up and call Dr. Phil.

These words are lovely dark and deep. but i've got promises to keep and miles to go before i sleep. so leave a message at the beep

(Talk in a very sexy voice) Hello, you reached the voicemail of Bobby and Christine. Sorry we can't come to the phone right now, we're busy doing one of our favorite activities. (real sexy with favorite) Christine likes to do it while standing in front of the mirror, I like to do it while sitting down. Christine likes to do it only once a day, I like to do it at least 3 times a day. Christine likes to listen to music while doing it, I like it quiet so I can concentrate more. Please leave a message and we'll call you back as soon as we're finished brushing our teeth.

Hi, you have reached the (your name) household, we are not here right now, so please leave a message at the tone, and we will get back to you, (short pause) if we can be bothered :)
BEEEEEEEP !

Like totally, like wow
Like I'm not here right now
Like leave a message at the tone
I'll call you back when I get home
Like bye!

Hello, You've reach the number you dialed--Consider yourself lucky-leave message after the beep

Hello? (pause) Hey, how are you doing!? (pause) I'm doing well, thanks for asking. So what's up? (pause) Sounds good. Unfortunately, though, I am not here right now, so please leave a message and I'll get back with you.

This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think hard about your name and reason for calling. I will than think about calling you back.

Hello. I'm available right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.

The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.

Hi, this is Bob. If you're part of the problem, hang up now. If you're part of the solution, leave a message.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service...

The number you have reached, 555-555-5555, has been changed. The new number is 555-555-5555. (Yes, same number.) Please make a note of it.

Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a message or call me back later.

Hi. I'm probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.

Hi, this is Bob. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

Hello, this is Bob. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?

This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

I am not home to talk to you, But please don't be a creep. Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the...

You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.

So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person.

Selected callers will get to talk to me live. Since you're not one of them, leave your message at the beep.

You have reached 555-555-5555. Please hold while I process your call. (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers. None of our staff is authorized to speak with you except for Fred, who is not here right now. Please leave your name phone number and a brief message at the tone. Thank you for calling and have a nice day.

Hello. All of our operators are busy right now, but if you'll leave your name, telephone number, a brief message, and the time you called, we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you and have a pleasant day.

Hello, this is Bob's voice. Bob's not here right now leave a message after the beep.

Hello, this is Bob; I'm not in right now. You better leave a message at the beep or else... (dramatic pause) I won't call you back.

I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person.

Hey this is Bob, I'm not here right now but you know what to do. Here comes the beep... "Beep!", just kidding.

I'm not available right now so please leave a message, if you are too lazy to do that please hang up now.

If you want to know where I am call a psychic. If you're too lazy to do that just leave me a message.

Well well well! It's about time you called me, but now I'm not availible, so please leave a message at the tone.

I'm not here right now, so you have two choices. You can:
A.) Leave a message
B.) Don't leave a message
You make the decision. It's in your hands.

Hello... Hello? I can't hear you right now. Can you try calling me back later. Or just leave a message.

Hello... Hello... Hello, is anybody there? Well, you may be there but I'm not, so leave a message.

I figured it was you. That's why I didn't answer but you can leave a message after the beep.

I'm sorry but the person you are calling is unavaliable right now. Please leave a message at the tone, or just hang up, and try again later.

Hi, I'm either away from my phone, screening my calls, or didn't hear it ringing. Leave a message.

Hi, this is Bob's cellphone. You know the routine: I say, “Leave a message.” I beep. You talk. You hang up. Now let's get on with it and stop wasting time.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Leave me a message
And I'll get back to you.

hi, youve reached jessica, im not here right now, so when you hear the beep, please hang up

sorry i get to the phone, but thank you for caring enough to call. Im making some changes in my life right now, leave your name and number and ill call you back, if i dont call you back, your one of the changes.

Roses are red, violets are blue, candy is sweet, so are you, the roses are dead, the violets are rotten and i might call you back if i haven't forgotten..... BEEEEPPP

Q98, hello! You're our ninth caller, you're on the air!!!

Hi,
God's Gift to women.

I just wished women would listen to God :(

Hi. Youve reached (your name). You have 3 seconds until the world ends... 3... 2... 1... *short pause* Hmm... Guess it didnt end. Leave a message anyway!

he he he hel hel hello he he hello fine ok well im not here either so please leave a message after the.....

YOU'VE REACHED THE NUMBER YOU'VE DIALED. LEAVE A MESSAGE.

Like Totally
Like Wow
Like I'm not in right now
So leave a message after the beep
(clap,clap)
Like Chow!

Hello you have reached Scot. I am not able to answer my phone right now because I was abducted by aliens, once I return to the planet earth I return your call as soon as I can. Thank you and have a great day.

Hello! (pause) Hello! (pause). I cant hear you. (pause) no wonder i cant hear you i havent even picked up the phone, leave your name and number and i will call you back as soon as possible..

Oh where oh where can I be, i am either in the kitchen boiling some eggs or in the bathroom shaving my legs, whereever i am i am not answering the phone, so do me a favor and leave me alone.

(noise of you answering) Hello?..(silence for about 5 or 6 seconds)
...no wonder (your name) doesn't answer, you're boring! *BEEP*

"when life gives u lemons, u make lemonade. when life gives you a tone leave a message... BEEP... just kidding" beep